Questions

If time went by and days continued to pass

And we never had met, could you remember our last?

Or would only the first time continue to strive

Or perhaps it never happened… could it all be a lie?

But if time is true as we know that it is

Would I want for your time and continue to wish

You were in my arms and holding me tight

Only time will tell... will this be the night?

The Eyes

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.

When it is the soul that our eyes actually detect

They view what our inner most selves reveal

About our feelings, our desires, and our intellect.

Beautiful, gorgeous, intense.

All words that have been used to describe the delicate rays of sunshine reflecting my soul.

Or was it my soul, I sometimes questioned.

Mesmerizing.  Astonishing.

The delicate combination of blazing gold overlapping warm shades of green

Hues of tan come together to form the painted glass of my inner being.

The windows, the reflection…of me.

Or the unknown someone, or rather something, hidden within.

The developing being was the thing I now struggle with.

It’s dark.  Cold.  Maniacal in its thinking.  Its planning.  Its actions.

It pays no regard to the devastation it leaves behind.

It finds enjoyment in the attraction it has and what it brings.

Tantalizing

The latter description defined as exhibiting something that provokes or arouses expectations and desires, yet remains unobtainable or beyond ones reach.

My eyes… are… Tantalizing?  That’s deep!

Women look into my windows and compliment what they see.

A reflection of an action surely predestined to be.

I reply with a thank you and my mind plays a game.

Awakening the beast within, the one I cannot tame.

Are those your real eyes?

From that point, women seem to be lured into the spell.

It begins as something heavenly but mostly leads to hell.

My windows reflect those things normally just too deep to see.

Facial expression of her and I enthralled in ecstasy.

A strange struggle of good and bad is what my eyes reflect,

yet no one would seem to know it.

No one sees anything besides the “pretty eyes”.

When at the end of the day, if you were to ask me, I would tell you…

They are just…brown. 

Virgin

De-virginize me…

Set me free from the bondage of subpar lovers that came before

Enlighten my mind with ur prowess and sexual gratification

Give me ur all

Emotions let loose to explore all those angles and movements that keep me wanting more

Fuck me under the moon lit shadows and make me envision comets bursting across a

midnight sky

Make me want to live life in truths

Never hide the desires of explosion and illusion that I fight to keep inside

Doesn’t matter the place or time

Arouse my mental state to see what we can find

Let loose thoughts of shame and turmoil we utilize when trying to theorize why we

should not be

Set me free

And loose me from this hiatus

The sexual vow now made just between us

So that we may experiment and try new things

To make me think of “pretty wings”

To allow me to fly away in this dark room

Alone with u

Just outside the view of this…celibacy

Have no regrets

Just desiring to let loose of the bonds placed before u and I

Allow me to cry in ur arms

And lay my soul to rest

As we de-virginize ourselves from societies ideal of how we should be

Because we just met and I don’t really know u yet

But u’ve sparked an interest within

With ur talk and intellect

And my deepest desire now is to just be…

Let’s see where this path takes us on our journey

To set our minds at ease

Are u ready?

E V O L

I don't believe in love...
I mean I have love for self and brotherly love
And that type that's sent from heaven above
But the quest for that companion
Who's suppose to be that friend
To the very bitter end?
That dream I've let go of...
Given up on the emotional roller coaster 
Days filled with joy and laughter
Only lead to months and years of disaster
Yet I see others chasing after the drama associated with the emotion
"I love you"
Three words often spread about as lies between two people who barely know each other
Because they barely know themselves
Love in all it's shapes and forms
Twist hearts and minds like wretched vines
Entangled in the thorns of hate and disgust
I run and hide from the blatant lies destined to grow from this so called emotion.
And where does it leave me but standing alone in the bitter cold
Seeking for the one to call my own

True love

Sexual Beginnings

I believe I underestimate ur underestimation of me...
See, this thing, this physical being
U yearn for
In your speech and demeanor
Desires to entice that area between ur thighs.
Temperatures begins to rise
As I slowly undress u
Verbally...
Digest u
With word play
Pandemonium and chaotic uproars
With so much more I have in store
As I tantalize ur mental with hyperbole and metaphors or...
Just start over
Fuck the word play and all the talk
And let's get to this.
Your nipples erect with fascination
As I begin with this transition of pleasure.
Not often that I can measure
The intellectual arousal that u have started
Those nipples, getting harder
As I slowly kiss the shape of ur collar bone
Our lips will meet in the dark
Tongue soft enough to trace the edges of ur last spoken words...
"how are you?"
My hands explore your waistline
Removing shoes, shirts and panty lines
And we stand before each other as new born souls
Ur lips, wetter than warm nights in Seattle
Nipples harder than life itself
And this kiss and embrace seems as if it won't end.
Then it begins
As I journey to that clitoris
Explore the walls like a infant new to this... world
U hum and moan and fight off pleasures
I satisfy and drink ur nectar for hours
Contained within a moment of time inside your mind that only equates to a fews seconds
Even though now, it's a new day
And this time...
Marks the start...
Of our sexual beginnings

Misconception

Why is it that u see me the way that u do?
Caught up in theories and perceptions
Instead of seeking the truth
Believing that I'm some sort of player or guy
Simply looking for some woman to "do"...
Why not take time to get to know me
Explore those things I try to pursue.
Do u know me?
Or even bother to try before u judge me?
Does my appearance predetermine who I am inside
Or what beliefs I have?
Why is a simple conversation
Taken as a playful tease
When the truth is I was just being friendly.
Is it really necessary for me
To walk around with my eyes sewn shut
And my mouth glued tight.
Don't sit back and judge me
What gives u that right?
Does ur perception of me
Inspire what u see
The reflection of thoughts u have
Projected upon my persona
And suddenly
U think I'm flirting
When I'm really just being me
Ur excuse is then that
I know what I'm doing
The moment I lay eyes on "her"
Using my physical prowess to spark some type of
Fire
Within her
I stop to say hello
U say my tone and the subtle growl in my voice
Says so much more
What u hear when I say hello is
"Just drop ur panties to the floor"
My "How are u"
Equates to "so when can we fuck?"
I humbly disagree and u claim I'm out of touch??
So should I instead live up to the
Expectation
Of ur misconception
Live my life as a womanizer far beyond correction
Then I'm labeled as such and shunned from society
An outcast
With no desires for love or any moments that last
Sitting alone, second guessing my thoughts and my actions
All because u had this twisted misconception
Of the man that I am
The security I provide
Try to see my true self and explore all those sides
Because I am just me
No ego attached
No ulterior motives
No sexual escapades lie in my focus... well not yet
I just want to know u
And make a new friend
But that requires u open ur eyes
And redirect ur perceptions

Some type of way

I'm feelin'...
Some type of way
Can't really say
If it's the time of day
Or the thought of a place
That put this taste... in my mouth
But I'm feelin'...
Like sucking on toes
And scratching up ur elbows
While u try to squirm away
From this oral ecstasy
That I'm feelin'...
Like ripping off ur clothes
Or trying to work out this pose
With your thighs behind ur head
And you cum'n on the bed
My tongue is in ur ass
And ur ass is in my hands
Ur eyes shut real tight
While I'm doin' head stands
I'm feelin'...
Like pullin' on ur hair
And fuckin' without any care
Let u climb on top of me
And let ur tits hang freely
Want to pull inside u deeper
Than u've ever had before
And when u want for me to stop
Is when we'll go a little more
I'm feelin'
This type of way
Just want to hold u tight and lay
Or is it lie...
Inside
U
And be still
Do all those things I will
And yet
This clock up on the wall
Is holdin' back my desires to be with u
So instead I have to
Just feel...
This...
Type of...
Madness.

Dreams

I met u in my dreams last night
Lying in my arms
Yearning to fill ur heart with desires
And wishing u were mine

We spoke of being intimate
Yet our time was not to be
Fears of hurts and pains
And what others might believe

I met u in a vision of wants
U smiled and said hello
Entertained my youthful spark
I held close long ago

Our meeting ended abruptly
As a door cracked from behind
Let a light come shining through
A truth we could not hide

I hope to see u in my dreams
And remember what we meant
I pray that u'll meet me one day
And reach out to ur friend

Invisible

I see u
More in my mind than in reality
I yearn to speak to u.
To hear the musical melody of ur voice
whisper ur wants in my ear.
To say hello...
To share a moment in time.
To satisfy ur desires.
To have ur interest become mine.
But time and logic intervene
and make my wants just distant dreams.
Unsure what I can do
Or what to say
Or how to act
Or how to pray.
Days go past and desires sway
Knowing wants may never come my way
Hesitation to reach out to u.
Desperation seems so untrue.
I wish to touch u.
To hold u.
To feel the touch of ur lips upon my own
To caress u
And care for u
These thoughts ring true
But seem out of view
Concentration leaves...
Drifts away like waves in the sea.
So I sit
And start
And dream of you and I enthralled in lust
My dreams slowly dissolve like dust
And again I sit
Alone
Wanting for u to be seen by me.

"Self Confidence" from The Makings of a Man

I am a phenomenal lover.

I haven’t always been and I’m not just saying that to “gas” my own head up or stroke my own ego.  It’s just something I have been told a few times in my life.  Personally, I would say I was pretty average.  I was once told by a forty-six year old woman that I “made her feel like a school girl again” as she was “giddy” with anticipation of our next sexual episode.  With that in mind, I must be doing something right, correct?

I have been with my fair share of women.  The actual number is of no importance yet some women, particularly the younger ones, always have a habit of asking how many.  Not really sure why it matters.  It’s not a question I care to ask or know the answer to.  I understand the risk of disease increases with promiscuity.  As long as we take the appropriate measures I can assure you, your sexual history nor your past relationships have any bearing on what I will and won’t do to you.

The good book tells us two souls become one whenever we chose to share ourselves with one another.  With this premise in mind, you have to believe every time we sleep with someone, we pick up a bit of their soul, their thoughts, and their beliefs.  In my case, I believe the inner being of mine consumes the sexual aura of the female I am with and also merges with the sexual prowess of all of their past lovers.

Consider this.  When we first lose our virginity, we are pretty basic creatures in the things we do and the positions we attempt.  Unless of course, you happen to lose your virginity to someone far more advanced sexually than yourself.  In which case you may have been a little more willing to experiment with things depending upon how patient and understanding your partner chose to be.  Personally, sleeping with the sexually uninitiated is a path I prefer not to go down.

Anyways, as we sleep with more people or in my case, devour more souls, our willingness to experiment with different positions, different toys, and different people all begin to gravitate to the top.  I believe it’s most likely because of who we are with and who that person has been with. 

Talent once told me he believed the reason women he slept with became so emotionally attached to him was because he made love to each one like she would be the last one.  I guess my demon acquired that trait from my homeboy.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’ve had a few bad experiences.  I’m sure we all have.  I can remember the time I slid inside a young lady and two strokes later I spilled my sexual desires all over the place.  I’m pretty sure neither of us felt good about that one.  Well, actually I felt quite good but she didn’t and in theory things like that shouldn’t happen. 

I’ve been asked what my favorite position is.  To that I say if you have a favorite then you’re not doing something right.  My favorite is the position we are currently in that has curled your toes into some awkward, yoga-like position and has you wondering why you have never been fucked quite like this.

I have and will try just about anything once.  Well twice really when you take into account I have never been with any one woman just one time.  I believe that to be a result of the one ill-fated episode of which I just spoke.  No one likes to leave a bad impression and if you’re good at something, it’s not likely that you will fail at it twice... (To Be Continued)

Too Soon

I believe I've crossed the line with you...
Stepped across that imaginary boundary
that defines us as friends and companions.
Overstretched the social barrier
that men and women constrain
the ideologies of what society deems right and wrong.

I apologize...

But my mental illusions and graphic illustrations
dominate my moral restrictions.
I mean, what I want to say is "hi, how are you?"
Phrased to convince u that I'm the type of guy that is respectful and just;
Far beyond thoughts of lust;
To build a level of trust that makes u want to confide in me and call
me a friend.

But I can't lie...

No matter how hard I try
this inner being that sees u differently
wants more than anything to be heard...
So I try to speak words critically and carefully,
Yet truthfully and indirectly.
Wanting to know ur interest and wishes.
"Do u enjoy cooking, shit, I'd do the dishes."
Or take a walk late at night.
Perhaps disagree, but never fight.

And yet the truth...

It slips out from time to time
In innuendo or in a rhyme
Because the lust I have in side
is only for you...
So it deserves to be heard by you...
But I have to decide "Is it too soon?"
To tell you...
To touch you...
To taste you...
I want you but can't decide if that's right or wrong.
But I can't hold back the words when I see you.
And fearing that my time with you
is predetermined and predefined
within the constraints of your mind,
I let you know...

"I want you... BAD!"

And now, I regret it
But it's too late.
And you make up your mind that my intentions are wrong
when the fact is that I'm simply misunderstood.
It's not my purpose to offend...
So perhaps next time,
I'll just stare from afar and remain
... silent

Temptation

Let us begin this…

            Temptation.

Eagerly awaiting ur claim to fame

Dying to know if u can call out my name

            Or make me whisper urs…

In the quiet that falls

            Before the eruption of two souls

Waiting…

            And wanting…

To be touched by u

Aroused by the sounds of sexual explosions

Lurking quietly beneath the casual conversations we began

            When our eyes met…

But u remain out of my reach

Tempting me…

Proclaiming innocence in ur smile and ur gestures

Secretly harboring lust with ur stature.

Ur stare says u care what I think…

And what I hope for…

            My desires…my lust

Wanting me to want u…

Though not admitting ur own guilt

Or perhaps I’m overstepping my bounds

Wanting something more that I deserve

Mentally grasping ur thighs to make u scream out loud

Tasting ur lips with a delicate kiss

Massaging ur shoulders…

            Ur firm ass and lower back…

            Ur feet and ur toes…

Providing things that u lack

Things ur man tries to give but he falls short.

And now, u wish HE were ME…

Do my thoughts tempt ur own?

Inside, do u moan?

Feeling my lips travel across ur body

Kissing u gently

            Only the way that u like it from me

But allowing no one to know the truth

            Because what would that mean for u…

To allow ur mind to wonder away from the sight of him

And focus on that temptation that stands before u

Wanting to please u

In ways that make u daze in amaze—ment.

And stare

            Off into thin air

As u continue to feel the visions…

            The touch from my hand

            The trust as u stand

            The pulse in ur hips

The rush of adrenaline built within

            Just before u release

How bad do u need me to want u to want me?

Is there a breaking point?

Or will u continue to deny me this…

            Temptation.

What's In A Name

I will leave you
SPEECHLESS…

First time u see me, u’ve already addressed this.
Before my words part ur mind,
Ur legs quiver with desires
To fuck…with…me…
But don’t fuck with me unless u can fuck with me!
My words leave u breathless
My swag sparks ur interest
The thoughts make u restless
So please let me taste this…
With words and poetic sounds
No, not sex but why’s and how’s
Ur urges come to surface
And pause…
Thoughts of fuckin overwhelm u
My words come out and tell u
The pulses pass straight through u
U feel me inside u
And now ur breathless…
Wordless…
No other way to play it
The name, u want to say it
But words fade away and leave u

SPEECHLESS…