I didn’t attend Hampton alone. I was accompanied by yet another childhood acquaintance. Philip and I grew up in church together until his parents were led to another pastoral father figure who guided their religious lives. Our paths continued to cross through childhood and high school. We played four years on the same baseball and football teams. We had several classes together as well. And in addition to Ricky, and whomever he was dating at the time, Philip and his companion were pretty much the only people Lady allowed me to hang out with.
We all spent many evenings together going on dates, mostly to the bowling alley or to see a movie. When Philip approached me during our senior year of high school and inquired about what college I was planning on attending, he was excited when I said Hampton because it was one of his choice schools as well. Both of his parents were alums, and as legacy they encouraged him to go there as well. When he told me his plans for Hampton, I was just as excited about his as he was about my own. Who wouldn’t enjoy being able to have a familiar face when you are away from the comforts of home?
Philip and I were inseparable our first semester. We did everything as a duo even though he was housed in the dormitory cattycorner to my own. We became known as “The Carolina Connection” during spades tournaments, which was the game that brought us in contact with numerous other young men from across the country who had decided to further their development at Hampton. And as a collective group of 12, our fellow classmates knew us simply as “The Spades Players.” During the day, we went our separate ways, but around three o’clock every day you could find us in the lobby of Harkness Hall doing what we were known for.
Each team had its own method of play. We all had our own methods of cheating as well. After a while, it was almost impossible to pull off on the other teams since we were so familiar with one another. We partied together, drank together and went on road trips together. It was the perfect year of college. Those games and my boys were some of the things I would miss the most once Lady made the decision it was time for me to depart.
The following year, even though I had transferred to a college back in North Carolina, Lady saw fit for us to attend homecoming at Hampton. I was elated to return and get the opportunity to see my boys and reminisce. Philip’s parents had bought him a condo just outside the campus gate so Lady and I weren’t concerned with where we would stay.
Lady, Tracie, who was another female friend we all knew from school, and I made the journey up the coast. The weekend went along as any other would, at least on the surface. I saw all of my friends. We all went out. We had a party at the house. There was underage drinking, card playing and whatnot. We attended the football game and did all the things I used to do with my boys during my freshman year. I really missed the place. But all of this was merely superficial. It’s what went on underneath the surface that impacted my life forever.
The Saturday night before we were to return to North Carolina, I remember the four of us, Lady, myself, Philip and Tracie, all sitting in the condo joking around as always. It was cold in the house, so Philip brought an electric blanket into the living room. We all snuggled up beneath it trying to keep warm and reminisced about high school. As it got later and eyelids became heavier, we decided it was time to break away for the evening. Philip retired to his room. Lady and I went to the second bedroom where we had been staying and Tracie assumed her position on the couch. Lady and I lay next to each other embracing as always when she decided that she needed that electric blanket from Philip.
“I’m going to take it from him,” she said.
“He’s not going to let you have it,” I groaned, exhausted from the partying, card playing and alcohol consumption of the week. Philip and Lady had been going back and forth about it all night.
“We’ll see,” she said. My eyes slowly closed shut as I dozed of to a vision of Lady exiting the room and closing the door behind her.
I didn’t really enjoy my first year at my new school. It’s hard to adjust when you move from a predominately black university to a traditionally white one. The only good part about it is it was fairly easy to make friends considering the black population was so small. Not as if I’m against making friends with other races. I guess you just have to be there to see my point. My new location did make it easy to come back home during the school break and catch up with Ricky and my family.
Things had gotten really awkward between Lady and me but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. It just seemed as though we didn’t spend the same amount of time together that I had grown accustomed to. Not that it bothered me much. I am not now nor have I ever been a jealous type of guy. I understood college brought additional responsibility, and I was satisfied with the time I was getting. The summer following the school year, when we were all together again, there was just a feeling in the air. Ricky and I discussed it one night on the way to the bowling alley.
“Man, have you ever just felt like things weren’t quite right,” I asked.
“What do you mean, dog? Talk to your man,” Ricky responded in his usual jovial manner.
“Things between me and Lady, they’ve just been odd lately,” I said. The vision of the passing painted lines on the highway reminded me of those first rides on the school bus that started our friendship and made me chuckle a bit under my breath. “I think she may be doing something behind my back, but I’m not too sure.”
Ricky sat quietly listening as he drove the car in and out of traffic. I continued to voice my concern about my relationship and questioning myself about whether I was doing something wrong. I mentioned I had questioned Lady about us and had asked her if there was anything happening that she felt I should know about. I asked if she had gotten bored with our relationship or if there was another guy she was interested in. She denied any wrongdoing and told me I was being a bit paranoid for no apparent reason.
“Still,” I said, “Something just ain’t sitting well with me, man. You know what I mean?” Ricky continued to sit quietly yet astute as if there was an answer he held to an unasked question. “Forget it, man I’m tripping. How’s school going?” Our conversation shifted gears from that moment and continued uneventfully for the rest of our journey to the bowling alley.
Ricky and I parked and exited the vehicle. Philip had been following close behind with his current acquaintance in his passenger seat. Lady had already arrived and had brought along a new friend, a young lady named Sandra. The two met a few weeks prior in summer school. They were both taking an English class at the local university.
Sandra was an extremely attractive woman. It’s odd for me to point that out because until this point, there wasn’t another woman who had caught my eye the way Sandra did. It was as though I had, or Lady had rather, placed an imaginary set of blinders on my eyes. Sandra demanded attention from every man in her presence, yet she was very humble and down to earth. Lady felt like Sandra needed to meet Ricky so I suppose you could say we were all on one big blind date.
The evening went extremely well for all parties involved, and for the next few weeks or so, Sandra became a permanent fixture among our outings. It seemed like we all bonded quite well in the short amount of time, which is why it was surprising to receive the call from Ricky one evening.
“Man, I need to talk to you about something,” Ricky said excitedly. I had heard this excitement before. It was usually followed by some great information about a sexual escapade or a fine young lady he had just met. I listened in eager anticipation, eating my snacks as if I were preparing to watch a film on the big screen.
“Lay it on me man, what’s going on?”
“So Sandra and I have been talking a lot the last week on the phone,” Ricky began.
“I knew you were gonna get that,” I responded. “It was just a matter of time.”
“That’s just it, man. We’ve been talking and she is really feeling YOU,” he told me.
“What?” I coughed, astonished and choking on the Dr. Pepper that I had just took a sip from.
“Yeah, I’m not kidding you. She’s been asking me all about you and she wants to meet up with you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Well I know what I WANTED to say but what came out was, “Are you for real? What about Lady.”
“Sandra says it’s completely your call on that one man. But I know what I would do.”
The whole situation caught me off guard. Lady and Sandra seemed to click really well together. Sure, I had seen Sandra steal a glance in my direction from time to time, but I didn’t think anything of it. I continued to debate the issue with Ricky but it was as though he insisted I carry on a conversation with Sandra at the very least. I finally agreed.
“Cool. I’ll arrange the meeting then,” Ricky said.
“Cool, but what am I going to tell Lady?”
“I got you on that one. Don’t even worry about it.”
Over the next week or so, Sandra and I had a hidden friendship. Nothing disrespectful or out of the ordinary was happening between us, unless you include the fact I was meeting with this woman behind Lady’s back. I wouldn’t allow anything further than that to take place although it didn’t stop her from discussing and pursuing the possibilities.
Mostly we just talked. It was refreshing to talk to a woman who wasn’t Lady for a change. Sandra appeared so interested in getting to know me. Well know me and fuck the hell out of me, as she so eloquently put it. We were young and she spoke her mind, which I admired. I knew it was wrong to have late night conversations with her, but the more we talked, the more the desire grew to want to see her more and more. I would still spend my days with Lady, but before I headed home for the night I would make a detour. The second week is when it all came crashing down on me.
“You are definitely an interesting guy,” Sandra began to tell me one evening. I thanked her and returned the compliment. “Lady is lucky to have a guy as loving and devoted as you. It’s just too bad she doesn’t feel the same way.”
I had never been privy to what occurred the homecoming night we spent at Philip’s. I know whatever it was, it happened and was never questioned by me. I know it started a series of events that would culminate in the destruction of what I thought to be the things everyone respected in a relationship. Trust, loyalty, honesty. I know now, though I hadn’t realized it then, Lady made some type of excuse the following weekend to return to Hampton and to Philip. It was not the trip I was led to believe she was taking.
I only know these things because I was told these things. And it wasn’t because I questioned these things. I know the only things I can control in life are my own actions. I realize now the awkwardness between Lady and me began on that innocent weekend. And to complicate the issue, Lady wasn’t mature enough to admit her faults to me although she found it necessary to share the details of that weekend, and subsequent other encounters between her and Philip, with people she considered to be her friends. These things are what led to her downfall and my own enlightenment.
Sandra informed me of actions and incidents that disgusted me to my core and filled me with all types of emotions I had yet to experience. Lady had violated everything I knew to be near and dear to my heart. And Philip had not only taken my every thing from me, but he continued these sexual excursions behind my back while smiling in my face at the same time.
Heartache. Uncertainty. Regrets. Remorse. Friendship. Loyalty. Trust. My faith and belief in friendships and relationships was now an unanswered question. All of these unfamiliar emotions imploded on my inner soul with the force of a hurricane. And my bearer of bad news stood in front of me, held onto my broken body and cried along side of me.
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