"Truth vs. Lies" an excerpt from The Makings of a Man

Why can’t you just tell me the truth?  Is this not THE most loaded question in the world?  I could argue that for most men it is.  We never mean to lie to those we care about.  But there are times where we put ourselves in situations where we feel like we need to lie to protect those same individuals.  Sounds like a bunch of bullshit don’t it.  I can see that.  The rationale being that we should not have anything to lie about in the first place.

 

I agree with you there.  And trying to explain why it is I have lied in my past is probably going to be a next to impossible sale.  But you’ve at least listened to my opinion thus far and I would hope that you wouldn’t judge my rationale at this juncture.

There does not exist a guy who wants to be “that” guy.  That guy being defined as the one who has permanently scarred your heart and emotions.  The one who you forever discuss with your girlfriend by saying “I’m done with relationships because of so and so,” or “he taught me that men cannot be trusted.”

In our ignorance, the lies usually beget the latter discussions.  But let me make this situational so to shine a little light onto what I mean.  Let’s assume you have been lied to.  (I know it’s a stretch for you ladies to visualize being lied to but humor me lol).  Now to a guy a lie isn’t as bad as it is to a woman.  And if he’s never caught or found out in his lie, than it is merely a passing fad.  Lies could be small i.e., “I just want to get to know you better.”  “Sex isn’t even on my mind, we just met.” Or lies can be huge i.e., “its not my baby.” “I didn’t know she was your friend.” “It wasn’t me.”

Whatever the lie may be, once it’s told, it’s told.  So how do you undo a lie and save face is the conundrum we typically find ourselves in.  And by we I mean me.  Even after the arguments and disagreements, after everything is all said and done, it’s often difficult to come clean of the lies you have told because you don’t want to be that guy.

Usually the woman who is at her wits in says the question beginning this chapter.  She is fed up with the lies, most of which she already knows in her mind anyway, which is yet another misconception I have made in my past.  Women research the answers they seek before they ask, which is really a set up in the first place.

Anyways, the question is asked so that we can come clean of all we have done.  It’s out chance to “be a man and admit to what we have done.”  More often then not, we fail this test of love and end up becoming the guy that we try so desperately to avoid.  In our minds it seems like the right thing to do.  Why would anyone want to throw gasoline on a blaze that is way out of control?  If I have caused you so much pain, why finish you off by lying out the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?  Does this lessen the pain and emotional damage I have already caused?  Does it allow you to breath a sigh of relief and say, “well at least you finally came clean?”  Or does it make you hate us even more that we had to lie to you in the first place?  Don’t ask me, I am far from an expert in this matter.